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30 Dec 2012

My best moment and biggest lesson of 2012

Hey lovelies... As the end of 2012 draws nearer and nearer, I am feeling rather reflective. I doubt I'm alone in this. When something comes to an end, it's always a great opportunity to look back, reflect and ask yourself why the heck you cried tears for someone that was no where near worth it lol. 

2012 has been an interesting year for me. There have been some major highs and of course, some not so great moments when I wasn't even sure how I would get through.... Buuuuut, I did! Thank you Lord. :D

I wanted to share my happiest and saddest times of this year with you in the hope that it will inspire or encourage you in some way.

One of the best, if not THE best moment of 2012 was being given an opportunity to present a show on BBC Radio 1Xtra for a month. This was pretty awesome and a big accomplishment for me and my co-presenter! Some people don't understand the hustle, the passion or the amount of hard work that goes into doing what I do. Trying to become a successful and well established radio broadcaster requires a lot of sacrifice, so when you see the fruits of your labour, it is beautiful beyond words. Watch this space for 2013!

When someone or something makes you unhappy, get the f**k away from that person or that situation. This sounds pretty obvious- I know! But when you're in the situation it is never this obvious or this easy. I found myself in a very messed up situation with someone and all it did was drain my energy, piss me off and leave me feeling low (pretty much everyday). I look back now and want to scream at myself and give myself a bloody good slap for staying in it for so long, knowing how unhappy that person made me feel. I know why I did it. I wanted to exhaust ALL avenues before I gave up on it and I guess I wanted to prove that I was strong and a fighter, but at what cost??? My health? My happiness? My sanity! (that's how it felt at times). 

17 Dec 2012

Roller Disco fun in spandex and fishnets

<img src="rollerdiscovauxhall.jpg" alt="roller disco vauxhall" />

On Saturday night, my girls and I headed down to Renaissance Rooms in Vauxhall (London) for some classic disco fun. It was my friend, Char's birthday and she wanted to celebrate by doing something fun, exciting and new...  We decided to go raving on skates. Oi Oiiiii!!!

Roll on RollerDisco...

As it was an 80's, disco themed night, we whipped out the spandex, leg warmers, big glasses, fishnets, tutu skirts and anything else we could find that was remotely retro and cool looking. Getting dressed up was one of the best parts of the evening. I'm like a kid, I love dressing up!

9 Dec 2012

Why I am single according to my dad

Although we have had our share of 'moments' over the years, I love my dad to pieces. I love him more than he will ever know. He is incredibly wise and in spite of his past mistakes, he really inspires me. Even as I read that back, I smile at how true it is. 

Yesterday daddy dearest paid my sister and I a long overdue visit. As we all lay slumped on the couch, glass of rosè in hand, discussing the complexities of life, we somehow touched on the subject of love and relationships. When I say 'somehow touched upon,' I guess what I really mean is, I was droning on about how few decent guys I seem to come across these days and he was responding. 

The conversation was along the lines of this...

3 Dec 2012

What causes thinning edges in Afro hair?

<img src="thinningedges.jpg" alt="thinningedgesafrohair" />

Of all the hair types, Afro hair is by far the most fragile. It is for this reason that women of Afro-Caribbean descent are particularly prone to hair loss conditions.

This hair loss is caused by the fundamentally different physical structure of each strand, making it much easier to snap. Breakage and thinning commonly occurs around the edges/ hair line and there are a number of reasons for this.

9 Nov 2012

Disaster Date- The Day My Date Robbed Me

<img src="cheapdate.jpg" alt="mydatedidnotpay" />
After reading the title of this post, you're probably wondering how on earth someone can get robbed on a date right? Sounds incredibly dumb- I know.... But it happened! There are bad dates and then there is this..

Ok, let me cut to the chase...
I met a guy. This guy was a bit of a looker. I'm talking about that 'stop and stare' kind of beauty.  You know the type. So anyway.... We got talking and decided to meet up for dinner. (His suggestion/ invite by the way). We went to a lovely little Thai restaurant. Food was delicious, ambience was superb, but his company was....

*Huff* His company was so... DRY! To put it simply, he was nondescript.  

That was a slight let down but I held on to hope that the evening would get better and that he would suddenly remember where he left his personality. He didn't. This was him. Gorgeous, but in serious need of a personality transplant. The evening went from bad to worse.

When the bill came, he asked me how I was paying for my half. Huh?! My half? Just to reiterate, he invited me out but... o...k then. 

The bill came to £30 and I only had a £20 note on me. He wanted to pay on debit card and cheekily asked told me to put my £20 down and he would pay the £10 on his debit card and repay me my fiver 'later' as he didn't have enough cash on him. Can I just say that 'later' NEVER EVER CAME!

We left the restaurant and stopped by an off license before heading to a bar for part 2 of the date. He grabbed a Red Bull, gum and a packet of sweets. Not once did he even think to ask if I wanted anything. I didn't want a damn thing but that's not really the point. It's courteous to offer. Feeling slightly bothered by his lack of consideration, I continued to look on as he paid for his stuff. It was what I witnessed next that really got me...

25 Oct 2012

The best strapless bra ever- Wonderbra

There is nothing worse than having a beautiful strapless top or dress and not having the correct bra to wear under it. We have all seen those unforgivable fashion fails where a girl wears the completely wrong bra with an outfit. It might be a bra with those horrid 'clear' plastic straps that are supposedly invisible or maybe a bra with straps with a strapless dress (#EpicFail). Either way, the incorrect bra can totally ruin an outfit.

Admittedly, I have a rather big and unhealthy love affair with strapless/ corset style tops and dresses so owning the perfect strapless bra is so important to me.

20 Oct 2012

June Sarpong- What's so special about her

<img src="junesarpong.jpg" alt="junesarpong" />

Gosh I miss this woman. Legendary presenter June Sarpong was a standard part of my weekend, every weekend. I welcomed her into my living room for 8 years whilst she was presenting on T4. A Sunday morning wasn't quite complete without a bit of Sarpong. Me, fluffy dressing gown, Weetabix, toast (yeah I know, I can eat right?) and June. That was it. Happiness. So when she announced she was leaving T4, my heart kind of stopped beating for a bit. Sadness was all that remained. I think I may have shed a tear on her final show (or maybe I made that part up for dramatic effect. I am not quite sure to be honest).

I remember thinking, this has got to be a joke! But it wasn't. She really did go. I wanted to grow old with her on my screen. Is that sad?

What did I love about her? What's not to love? June was an awesome presenter. She made me laugh, a lot! She was intelligent, fun, had a lovely unique voice and she loved lipgloss almost as much as me. Her lips were always shining. On top of all that, she was dark skin and I could relate to her. Being a black girl living in the UK, it is rare to see a dark skin black woman on TV. Whilst I love my Davina McCalls' and Jameela Jamils', I want to see girls that look like me too. I want to be able to relate on another level.

TV bosses in the UK need to put more women of colour on our screens so little girls of all races can watch TV and feel they can identify with the person talking to them. We live in a multi cultural society. Surely TV should reflect that!

19 Oct 2012

How long could you go without sex?

The idea of no sex before marriage is something that makes many people cringe at the very thought. Could you imagine abstaining from having sex until you find that special one and tie the knot? It takes a strong cookie to do it. Trust me I know! Lets be real- To meet a guy that doesn't run at the thought of it is rare. To find a guy that will respect your celibacy wishes and remain faithful is damn near impossible to find.

This is why I have so much respect for couples that do it. Recently married model and actress Meagan Good has always been very open about how she and husband DeVon Franklin decided to remain celibate until they got married because of their Christian faith.

It is her hubby, Devon who I have true admiration for. I recently watched an interview where  he revealed how long he had been celibate before marrying Meagan. Over 10 years! Not 10 months, 10 YEARS! If that isn't strength, determination and some serious will power, I don't know what is.

In an interview with Global Grind, he revealed
She was celibate before we got together and I was celibate. You’re not going to believe me. Let me just put it this way, [I've been celibate] over ten years. Part of what I also do is preach and the thing that I couldn’t do, which was eating me apart…What was happening with me is that I would go and preach one thing but I was going and living another and I could not do it. I could not look at myself in the mirror. I was like, ‘No, I cannot live like this,’ so I had to stop and say, ‘You know what, until I get married, that’s off the table.
Question is, how long could you go without sex? Is it essential to your relationship? And if you met a guy who asked you to wait until marriage, would you?

12 Oct 2012

Know when it's time to let go

'Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy'

If I had a penny for every time I have held on to someone or something that no longer made me happy, I would be ridiculously rich by now. Whether it has been a good for nothing cheating ex or faded friendships, there are many things I look back on and wonder why on earth I didn't let go a lot sooner than I actually did. 

One of the worst extremes was finding out an ex partner got his ex pregnant whilst we were together

10 Oct 2012

4 Tips for natural/ Afro hair care

Ok, so roughly 1 and a half years ago, I embarked on a natural hair journey. I was through with chemical relaxers and the damage it was doing to my edges, so I decided to take it old skool and go back to my kinks.

For as long as I can remember, my hair has been relaxed so I kinda forgot how hard caring for natural hair can be. In all honesty I didn't really have a plan for what I was going to do with my hair. I just knew I was done with all the relaxing/ perming. I needed a break.

There are some great sites and vloggers out there offering invaluable advice and tips on caring for and looking after afro hair which really helped me. One of my favourites is BGLH
I have devised a list of 4 tips that will hopefully help anyone else on this natural hair journey:

3 Oct 2012

Nicki Minaj releases pic of her 'real' hair?

Infamous for her bright, sometimes wonderful, often wacky wigs, Nicki Minaj has released a photo of her 'real hair'. Some sceptics are asking why we can't see her scalp, or any of Nicki in the pic for that matter. Let's be real, this could be anyone. Heck, it could even be someone holding up a fresh pack of Remy hair. But on the flipside, who said black girls can't have long hair? All that wig/ weave wearing can be very protective and healthy for natural hair as it is free from heat damage, too much tension and all the other causes of breakage.

If this isn't her hair, I struggle to understand why she would lie! Sad if you ask me.
<img src="nickiminajrealhair.jpg" alt="nickiminajrealhair" />